Fickleness of my mind resides here

Wishing a very Happy Diwali and a Happy Eid to all, may the new year bring Peace, Joy and Prosperity in your lives ...

Ruchika

Here is the address for the wedding pics

www.spaces.msn.com/members/arunika/

or if that does not work

http://photos.yahoo.com/gracefulruchi

Ruchika

Now that I am a tad free and have settled I can write a detailed blog of the Programmmes during the wedding... This will serve as a memory when I am old and cant remember the details of my wedding.

We had started celebrations at home from 15th of August, each night all the closest of friends and family would get together at home around 6ish and start with the last minute discussions of the wedding functions and during those discussions somehome everynight a bottle or two of Scotch would come up on the table and the men would all start their night And then the entry to the Dholak wala would add spice to the evening.. the minute he would start playing everyone jumped up and started dancing.. which would then lead to me getting senti and crying like a kid.. hehehe FInally we would all stop dancing at about 2 am and then settle to have dinner and then sleep.

17th my In'laws arrived early in the morning from Bombay. 17th night we had a major party at home as it was my father in laws B'day on the 18th. As the clock struck 12 there was singing all around and dholak at the same time.. (can you imagine singing Happy Birthday to the beats of a Dholak) then appaji (as we call my father in law) opened a bottle of champagne, and ammaji (my mother in law) put a garland of roses around his neck.. and then the as usual dancing going on untill nearly 3:00 am.

18th was filled with wishes and the last minute preps for the main events..

Finally on the 19th was Rakhi which I was really looking forward to as this was my 1st rakhi after a very long time when I was with my family... Before we started the Rakhi celebrations the Mehendi wali ladies had come home and had already started applying mehendi to all the relo's coming in to get their hands painted with henna.. then rakhi .. man I loved the whole thing.. tying beautiful threads to your brothers and taking a silent promise from them that they will always be there for you and will protect you from every harm that came your way, and then the materialistic part of the day.. getting money or gifts from the brothers .. again 19th evening we had the same.. drinks all round Dholak and dance till late into the night.

20th my grand mother in laws arrived and many more relo's on both the sides.. It was the day due for mine and mom's mehendi. I had to sit over an hour for that Henna lady to put the mehendi on my hands front and back.. and then another hour for her to do the same on my feet... Mom got her henna done simultaneously.. later one we all retired for lunch which my sister and siter in law fed me After some time We all went to our own rooms, whether in the hotel or at home to get dressed and get ready for the function following.

Evening was Cocktail, it was one of the main functions and was held at Fortune Landmark owned by the Welcome Group.

This function as one can imagine was a massive hit.. Dad later told me that in all 35 ltrs of Scotch was consumed amongst about 150 drinkers that night. It was great, I have uploaded the pics for this night as well. We got back home from the hotel at about 3:00 am and slept untill 5:30 in the morning coz we had to get ready and move to the hotel where the Groom's side was staying ourselves.

21st morning was tiring and we were all hoping that somehow everyone would get a few more hours of sleep so that we can look presentable atleast but I guess that was not on the cards. We all got up at 5:30 packed the required stuff and entire girls side started to move to Sayaji Hotel (Indore's only 5 star Hotel) where the ceremonies were to be held and the Grooms side was staying.

After reaching Sayaji we went straight to our own allocated rooms and my haldi ceremony began, where 7 married ladies put turmeric mixed with curd or milk or cream to the bride and then the Girls mamaji (mothers brother) comes and picks the bride up and gives her some shagun (money or a gift ). Following which I went in for a bath with milk and got ready for the Ganesh Pujan. We all went to the Puja room allocated to us by the hotel and then we went into Mahal where the Puja from the boys side was going on. This puja is called Nishchitambulam where the families sit facing each other and there is a formal exchange of some gifts and then praying to the gods that we have fixed the wedding to be held on such and such a date and time , please let it go smoothly and bless us.

Following this long puja, we the girls side had a function too which is called Mayra or Mamera where the girls mother's side of the family comes and bestows blessings and gifts on the girl and the family. Massive Dhols played suring the swagat of my mothers side of relatives, Tika, shagun and welcoming them for the function at the door. Then at the door itself we had milni which is an old Punjabi song where one by one all the relatives come forth and dance. For instance when all the brothers of the bride are called forth to dance they come , then all sisters and so on. After the Milni everyone settled down with me, mom, dad, my sister Aditi and my Brother Rahul in the middle. Then our function began and my mama's son did my family's teeka and gave us each something or the other. then they all did our teeka. After which my cousin mama and my real mama's son put Chuda (Type of bangles which are worn by the bride in the punjabi culture, before she gets married, they are white and red in colour and she has to wear them for either 40 days or for a year and 3 months) in my hands. once that was done all the married women of the family come forth and put Kaliras ( they look somewhat like lil chandeliers and are put in the bangles). I was wearing all sorts of kaliras some made from silver, some from gold and a few made from coconuts which are extremely heavy. I had nearly 3 kilo's of kaliras in each hand. After putting the kaliras my brothers are supposed to help me up. Now the significance of these Kaliras is that I have to shake them in the air and all the unmarried boys and girls would come forth in a hope that atleast one of these would fall on their heads which would mean that they would be next in line.. Its not necessarily true but its a nice tradition, just like throwing the bouquet of flowers after the wedding. After this function was over we all retired to our rooms to get ready and come down to vatika for the Sangeet night.

21st evening was Sangeet night. Sangeet in hindi means Music. The night was filled with dance, music and fun all over. during the fnction the bride and groom were asked to come upon the stage with their respective families for the ring exchange. again the music and dance followed but not after they made us two dance first. It was practically impossible for me to even consider moving coz my extremely heavy dress. I was wearing a red lehenga with stone work all over it. Just the Dupatta itself was nearly 5 kilo's in weight. man.. and they made me dance

After the evening was over late night again we all retired to our specific rooms to get as much rest as possible coz we had another early day in front of us. next day I woke up at 5 in the morning to get ready for the wedding. we all came down at around 7 am and the ceremonies began. Arun was supposed to leave me and go for Kashi yatra saying that he does not want to get married and stay a bachelor forever and once he starts walking with his umbrella and a small fan in his hands my father, brother and my cousin mama went to get him back and convince him to get married to me. This entire thing is just tradition, no groom leaves and does not come back. hehe I guess secretly they all want to get married no matter how much they complain later.

Once back me and Arun had to sit on the Jhoola (swing) where the ladies all sang and gave us milk with bananas and did our aarti. When I came to know what they were singing in Tamil I realised the importance of the song. It means lord Maha Vishnu has come to ask for godess Maha Laksmi's hand in marriage and now they will get married. Maha Vishnu is the creator of the world according to hindu religion and Maha Lakshmi is the godess of money and power. In this case I am Maha Lakshmi and Arun - Maha Vishnu.

Later Arun had to hold my hand and take me to the place where we were supposed to actually tie the knot which is called the Mandap.  once there my dad had to wash Arun's feet (its a tradition that the bride's father washes the Grooms feet, we dont really like this tradition but still have to follow it) and then the Pundit who was performing all the rites gave me a saree and asked me to go and change into the nine yard saree. After changing they brought me out again and back into the Mandap. Then I sat in my fathers lap and Arun tied the Mangalsutra around my neck. The first knot is tied by the husband and the second knot is tied by his sister. Initially its supposed to be a holy thread which has the gold pendants in it and then after the wedding it is transferred into a Gold chain. Once the knot tying was over Arun put sindhoor (red powdery substance which signifies that a woman is married) in the centre parting of my head with his engagement ring. After all this had happened we got up for the seven pheras, each of which has a meaning of its own. I cant really describe them all coz even I dont remember all of them. Its more like Vows written for the bride and groom, for every bride and groom in the Hindu religion they are the same. After this we were declared married. Once all of this was over there was my Vidaayi (official parting of the girl from her family, when the boy's side take her to their house.) Lots of crying and hugging and then I climbed in a Doli (palenquin) and then as tradition says all my brothers carried me alongwith Arun's family to their room.

Once in their room my mother in law and some other women of the family gave us bananas and milk and gave me a saree which is gifted for grah pravesh (when the bride enters the grooms house for the first time afetr being married). then I changed into that saree and then my brothers came to fetch me again for pag phera (pag phera means the brothers of the bride going to get her to come back home first time after her marriage and then the husband has to come back to bring her back to his house again) and took me down to the garden where we had Lunch which is called Sajan goth. In this lunch the bride's side of the family feeds the Groom's side of the family with their own hands in silver crockery. One sweet each member.

After the lunch of both the families we all retired to our rooms again, and this time we had a few hours of sleep during the day.

In the evening at around 6ish we all got up freshened and started getting ready for the Reception. After we were ready Arun came to get me from my parents room to complete the pag phera, and then he took me down to the Garden where the reception was held. After going up on the stage our pundit chanted some mantras and we exchanged garlands. from there on we were standing on the stage and meeting all the well wishers untill 1 that night. All of us me and Arun, my folks and Arun's parents were all up on the stage and my dad was introducing some of the guests to Arun's dad and mom. Finally when we got off the Reception stage we realised that the date had changed and it was my uncle's B'day already. Another exchange of garlands between my aunt and uncle and then more photos.

Finally after dinner we (the bride and groom) were allowed to excuse ourselves and go to our room. But not before we had to listen to all the advices relating to married life from all the married women. all their teasing and all went on untill we left the garden. Once upstairs we were not allowed in our room unless we stood on a weighing scale and paid for excess weight if our weight was over 70 kg's per person. All this was the smart thinking of my brothers and sisters (cousins included) Obviously I wasnt over 70 despite my heavy lehenga and all the jewellery but arun was about 75 for which he had to pay Rs.5000 , 1000 per kilo overweight. Finally they let us inside and we found we had MORE work to do.. they had spread flowers all over the bed and under the first sheet was another surprise, the underlying sheet was covered with pebbles and papadums.. the pillows had papadums.. and to top it all they had emptied the water bottles next to our bed and poured vodka in them. Thankfully I wasnt the one to open the bottle and start drinking first. Arun on the other hand was too thirsty and started to gulp down the water and suddenly realised that his throat was on fire suddenly we realised we heard a phone ringing.. all phones hidden in the room with alarms set on each. And if this wasnt enough these kids kept on calling us the whole night and to top it all Our friends were nothing less, they kept on knocking on the door. Finally next morning we woke up with a start to find someone on the door, it was all our friends who wanted to come inside and have a chat about the night .. god .. those few hours went by somehow and then we came down for lunch directly and then left the hotel and came back home. The rest is all a married life..

Now that I have typed it all and my fingers hurt I can imagine how much pain has gone into planning and then going thru everything so mindfully. And above all having fun throughout.

I love both my families and am most thankful to my parents for doing all this for us. Thanks Dad , thanks Mom .. I love you both very much and hope I can be as good a daughter and do atleast 1 percent of everything that you have done for us.

I Love You

Ruchika

When we say " HOME" what do we mean ??

Does HOME signify the place you were born and brought up at or the place where you stepped into the real world and found out things for yourself.. when you stepped out of your parent's shadows and started making your own decisions, Big or small in life..

To me my mothers home will always be back in India in Indore .. but when I look upon the place in the world which I would call as home.. MY home.. where I learned how to put myself in front of others .. where I made the decision of what to cook for dinner what to wear to work  and the major decisions of life followed - that place would always be Sydney. No matter where I am if I got a chance to go back.. I would run back to Sydney .. A place I know .. a place I have a past in.. a past created by me..  Thats home for me..

Ruchika

Hmm.. Phil Collins coming to Dubai.. should I go  ?? or not ??

Cant seem to decide... Anyways .. Lets see..

I bought a book after a LONGGGG time.. finally something I wanted.. And I have wanted to buy this book for quite some time.. will read it again.. for the 3rd time.. Neat ...

Cost me a alot.. but I guess its worth it... The DaVinci Code Illustrated Version. for AED 120.

Anyways.. going back to my book now..

Ruchika

 Listening to this song way too much these days.. Dunno why.. but I just cant get it out of my head or off Winamp...

"And I miss you.. Like the deserts miss the rain.."

Missing by Everything but the girl.. The orijinal version .. really stuck on to me...

Anyways,... the main reason to blog today was the fact that a thought just crossed my mind last night.. when the world around me was fast asleep I was up and thinking about my future..

Suddenly last night I thought that if now at this very instant I die.. who gets all the little bit I have saved up and collected in my life of 23 years.. who do I endorse all that to ??? All this made me decide I should let my folks know all my passwords to my bank accounts should perhaps always keep all my money in them.. not in the form of cheques ..(like I am carrying now) just to make it easier for them to acquire it all.. I should keep my insurance policies up to date with all the required details in them so that its not a hassle for the family to get the needful done...

So many sudden feelings rushing thru you when you are so far away.. when you never know what lies ahead...

When, where and how I die is not what I know.. but what I do know is that I have to be prepared for the worst to happen to me and have to keep my family prepared for the same...

Done all the transfers, checked all the needful.. now I wait it out I guess...

Ruchika

For quite some time now I have been hung on to this television show called Charmed. Now that they have started putting it out on DVD's I am really really keen on buying all the 4 seasons out so far... Too tempted...

But unfortunately I hear my husbands voice ringing in my head saying.. " not right now honey just wait for a few more days and i'll get it for you myself"

I cant wait.. I want to buy the 4 seasons right now.. waahhhhh

Now I dont know what to do.. may be i'll try and trick him into buying it right now.. hehehethe evil me at work

lets see

This is just another casual evening.. with me at the computer table trying to do something creative and work out something nice to please my eyes.. but what I havent thought about is may be I should dresss up or look pretty for my husband.. havent thought about my increasing weight since I got married.. infact I am so out of touch that these days I dont even colour code my clothes.. just wear what I find in the closet...actually what I get my hands on.. dont even bother with looking in the mirror anymore.. so long as I am covered in clothes I guess it has really stopped to matter..

so I was just wondering about how we change once we are Mr. & Mrs. ...

I havent had a reason to dress up.. I mean we go to shopping malls and stuff.. but I wear normal clothes.. dont find myself looking in the mirror trying to look attractive for my hubby.... And I remember when we were dating I used to love dressing up and looking good in front of him.. getting flowers and compliments seemed like the only things that mattered.. dinners, roaming through the streets hand in hand, buying chocolate for each other hehe.. watching movies.. staying out all night coz we knew if we go back home we will be under two different roofs and we didnt wanna part.. not even for a lil while..

Those jokes which were funny then now seem lame.. somehow things seem so different..

now there are no more roses in my room.. not even when we go out.. I dont find us trying to buy each other chocolates or walking hand in hand.. infact when we sit down in a place for dinner we seem to pick the opposite seats.. earlier we used to sit sticking next to each other .. or holding hands from under the table.. because I was too shy to hold his hand in public..

Suddenly its more about settling down and a savings account so that we can ensure a better future.. a more promised future.. But somehow we have forgotten that in building for the future coming ahead we are skipping over our present..

Somehow we have forgotten that we were lovers first and then became husband and wife..

I wonder if this is just happening with me or does this happen with all the couples.. do the roses or the lily bunches suddenly dissappear from the bed or the table in the hallway ?? where are those calls in the day when he used to call me just to see how I was or sometimes just to say he loves me .. do the romatic nights and the dinners vanish into thin air and all that remains is just a promise that I am here and thats all that matters.. all that matters is that we are legally under one roof and no one can ask us to part now..

When we get married we make a silent promise that I will be there for you.. always by your side no matter what.. but do we forget the littlest things that made us so special? Do we forget that the other person might need a surprise now and then??

All I wanna know is where is the element of surprise?? where is the man I fell in love with who used to get me big bunches of lilies and take me out to dinners.. where is the same old me who used to love getting all dressed up and wait for him to come to take me somewhere .. even if it was just to roam on the streets of the city..

Where are those two people lost ???

I dont understand how it is possible for three different partitions on a hard disk to vanish into nowhere in one day.. specially when no one touched them also..

If anyone has any clue how I can bring all this lost data back.. kindly get back to me.. it would be a great help

thanks